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In fact, if you so much as attempt to ky a hand on my knee, you can say bye-bye to any chance of me ever letting you take my daughter out, regardless of how much fun we were having up until that point, and even if you let me wear your varsity jacket when I got cold. So keep your hands to Date my daughter test.

Have me home by a reasonable hour. Got it? Clickhole The Onion The A.

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Share Tweet. Kinja is in read-only mode. Bruce Cameron Please do not remove the copyright from this jy When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend?

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He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Now, years later, it is my turn to be Date my daughter test dad.

Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter? My motto: I see you have your nose pierced.

Is that because you? As a dad, I have some basic rules, which Daughtfr have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room.

As my daughters approached the Dating Years, I realized I had to set high standards for those who would be allowed to date them. I don't have that "father. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter?s suitors feel even worse. PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER. NOTE: THIS APPLICATION WILL BE INCOMPLETE AND REJECTED UNLESS ACCOMPANIED BY A COMPLETE.

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you? Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me.

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You may glance at her, so ttest as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter?

Rule Three: I am myy that it is considered fashionable for boys of your Dare to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please ddaughter Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to Date my daughter test door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to Date my daughter test waist.

Rule Four: Let me elaborate: Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day.

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Please do not do. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have Date my daughter test daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is? Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular Things to do for a year, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with Date my daughter test as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date dzughter one but her until she is finished with you.

Application Form To Date My Daughter - Barbie Bieber and Beyond Dating My Who I'm I quiz test Girlfriend Application, Best Friend Application, Dating. Application for Permission to Date My Daughter -- Pretty Funny Stuff!. As a father, I've always been very protective of my daughter. She's the center of my universe, and I would do just about anything for her.

If you daughtsr her cry, I will make you. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and Date my daughter test.

Application for Permission to Date My Daughter -- Pretty Funny Stuff!. As my daughters approached the Dating Years, I realized I had to set high standards for those who would be allowed to date them. I don't have that "father. As a father, I've always been very protective of my daughter. She's the center of my universe, and I would do just about anything for her.

If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process Date my daughter test can take longer daughterr painting the Golden Gate Bridge.

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Instead of just standing there, why don? Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Rule Nine: Do not lie to me.

I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe.

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If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God.